2012-08-16

my favorite phrase

There has been my favorite phrase since I was a student.
I forgot I had a favorite phrase but I just remember it yesterday.
The phrase is.....

If I wasn't hard, I wouldn't be alive.
If I couldn't ever be gentle, I wouldn't deserve to be alive.

The phrase was said by Philip Marlowe, a detective in a novel written by Raymond Thornton Chandler.

I didn't know this until I looked into it now.

When I heard this phrase, it was translated into Japanese.
The translation was more likely this....

If I wasn't strong, I wouldn't be alive.
If I couldn't ever be kind, I wouldn't deserve to be alive.

It is a little different but strong and kind are very important to me.

When I heard this phrase about 20 years ago, the phrase was inscribed in my soul.
I decided to be a person with both kindness and strength.

Basically, Japanese are not direct to say what we think.
But unlike typical Japanese, I am rather direct.
It is good to non-Japanese but too sever to Japanese.

When I think it's necessary to say for my friends and people related to me,
I decide to take all the responsibilities and say what I think directly to them after thinking a lot and choosing words carefully.
But those who think they are always right and stubborn are upset at me and away from me.

I know I always hit their points they try not to see and don't want anybody to touch.
I don't do this to everybody.
I do this to people who try to come into my life or whom I want to be closer.
I can't deceive myself and pretend not to see what I saw.

It's alright even if those people can't understand what I truly mean.
I often see them changing toward good directions after they decide to beat me.

I haven't expected anybody to understand me.
But these days, people around me started to understand me.
Some of my friends said to me yesterday,

"There is love within your strength.
What you say sometimes seem there is no love but you really think of the person.
What you say are always based on love and compassion.
Therefore, people who understand can understand later although it takes time."

I am very happy to hear this maybe happier than I realize.

My dear friends can always find and accept my true love behind what I say.

I inscribe this phrase in my soul again and go up to the next stage!

If I wasn't strong, I wouldn't be alive.
If I couldn't ever be kind, I wouldn't deserve to be alive.



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